Sandra (Gr. 3)

 

Day 1. October 2016. It's our first attempt at circle. The children are loud. They are peppering us with questions and they can't seem to listen to our explanation or instructions.  One child has run out of the classroom. Another is hiding under a table. There are two more who refuse to leave their desks. And then there is "Bobby". Bobby is walking around the room flapping two long magnet strips on either side of his head. He is reciting a script from his favourite cartoon. I don't understand what he is saying. He isn't with us in our world right now. He is somewhere else, somewhere in his own head. I can't break through. What are we doing?  This circle thing is an ideal. It's meant for typical classrooms with only one or two children with special needs. It's not going to work for us. I really don't see this happening. 

 

Fast forward. May 2018. Bobby proudly places the card for Friendship Circle on the class schedule. "Don't start without me" he pleads. The children-every single one of them-come to the front of the room and, semi quietly, form a circle on the floor. The four or five children at the left notice that someone walked in late so they back up to make a space for their friend. The child who ran from the room on day 1 wants to read the guidelines for circle. Actually, he recites them, as he hasn't learned to read yet. He is proud to tell us the rules. The child who couldn't control her blurting on day 1, silently raises her hand as a volunteer to go first. She is eager to share. The smile in her eyes tells me so. The talking piece reaches Bobby. He tells us he wants to be a fireman when he grows up. No one prompts him anymore. Bobby simply contributes as the other children do. This is our own little utopia. We're not perfect, but boy, are we connected. Looking at those little faces I am filled with joy, no, it's contentment. Peaceful, internal contentment. 

 

Brenda(Grade 3)

 

This year I have had a very positive experience using circles in my classroom. Having the most challenging students of my career, both academically and behaviorally, I was looking forward to introducing circles as part of my discipline routine. During circles I could reinforce appropriate behaviour in terms of taking turns speaking in honouring with each person had to contribute. It worked beautifully! As with most new ideas it took some time for the students to physically get into circle so that each child could be seen. Before long they had that skill mastered as well as honouring the person with the talking piece. Very few reminders were needed for that to happen. So we're circles have grown and evolved since September with many little milestones in some huge milestones to show.

 

One big one was surrounding a young autistic boy who in September was too anxious to even sit in the circle. He would pace around the classroom while the rest of the class sat in the circle. As time went by, he gradually warmed to the idea and would come sit with his class but not contribute. He now joins circle every day and never needs prompting to share.

 

Terry (Elementary Guidance Counsellor)

 

Let me tell you a story. One about two students who simply could not get along. Every day, the two boys would wait with anticipation for playtime after school. Both no doubt believing it would be a time of great joy. For these two people, it often ended with   disappointment. For some reason, they always find each other. Whether near the jungle gym or on the soccer field or near Big tree where students would gather. They would find each other. Soon after, an argument would begin followed by pushing and name calling. I'm not sure if they really knew what was happening. It's seemed to be their rule, something they just did, somehow defining who they were as kids, a pattern that could not be broken. Somehow this conflict was unavoidable, their destiny. Every day, they would go home and tell their parents how horrible the other student was to them. How their feelings were hurt. How they had hated playtime. Their parents being caring people, grew more and more concerned. Every new day brought new stories of how terrible the other child was. Their concern grew to anger. And their anger required action. One day after school, the parents decided to monitor the situation. This would provide a golden opportunity for the parents to witness how terrible the other child was behaving. This unfortunately brought the parents into conflict. Harsh words were spoken, each parent defending their own child and blaming the other. This made the situation worse at school. Now the children, supported by their parents were at war, gathering support for their cause where ever they could find it. Other students got involved. Alliances were formed. Battle lines were drawn.

 

In an attempt to bring peace once more to the little playground, the school staff thought it might be wise to bring the parents together in circle to discuss what was happening. This was scary for those involved. Normally, the staff would not include parents in this way. This was a risk.

 

What happened was unexpected and remarkable. At first, the parents of both children came in with their own agendas. As expected, they sat with arms crossed and angry faces. As they sat and listened to each other, doors begin to open. Fences were amended. As the parents figured out how best to move forward, so did the children on the playground. As the parents repaired the harm in their relationships, so did the children. Perhaps it had been an issue between the parents all along being acted out on the little playground by the next generation. I'm happy to say that the children refrained from conflict for the remainder of the school year. Peace had been restored to the little playground.

 

 

Jasmine - High School Math

 

After first hearing about Relationships First, I thought, " I have to do this with my level one math class!" This class was full of people with different personalities who often did not get along but… I had trouble getting the students into the circle! They were not very receptive to the idea.

 

I would've probably given up with this class if it hadn't been the support of my colleagues and I am glad I did not give up.

 

I had a student who is very disconnected from school (barely came, wears headphones all the time to avoid speaking to anyone).

 

I did not expect this student to participate in the circle. The first time I invited her, she didn’t come very willingly. However, she shared when she was asked and it made me realize that she probably wanted to be part of a group.

 

Unfortunately, her attendance did not improve much, but when she showed up, she always shared. My relationship with the student went from nonexistent to having friendly conversations in the hall. I believe that this would not have happened if I didn't do circles. :-) 

 

Yvette (High School English)

 

Story of hope.

After two weeks of reading Julius Caesar line by line with my English 2201 class, it was time to begin analyzing the play for major literary devices such as conflicts, scenes, characters and irony. In front of this class of 33 students I said, "Who can share with me an example of conflict from the play?" I was met with absolute silence!

 

It was at this moment I decided to try a new approach to increase student engagement. I said, "I want everyone to put their desks in the circle." In the back of my mind I'm thinking that this may totally backfire on me! I was starting an unplanned circle in an extremely small classroom with 33 students.

 

I was pleasantly surprised at how quickly students rearranged their desks. Students who had never spoken to each other we're communicating to get the circle just right. Now, I had 33 sets of eyes on me wondering what I was going to do next.

 

I started the circle by having students share an example from their own lives of when they faced conflict and how it was resolved. Once again, I was pleasantly surprised at how willing this group was to talk about their own experiences. Out of 33 students, only four decided to pass.

 

I then posed the question about conflict in our play Julius Caesar. This time almost every student in the circle had something to share with us. It was an original example or something to add to a classmates response. I have to say that I was shocked at how much the circle formation increase student participation.

 

After the class ended and I had some time to reflect, I realized that other positive things happened during that circle. Students looked at who ever was speaking and students listened to what their classmates were saying. I never once had to ask anyone to "stop talking ", "pay attention, "or "put away your cell phone. "

 

During this one circle, I was able to cover all the objectives set up for the lesson. Students discussed not only content of the play, but also shared experiences from their own lives. It was definitely a valuable experience in building relationships. Several students returned the next day and asked if we could have another circle class, and we did!

 

​

 Farideh - High School - Healthy Living

 

For me having support was one of the most valuable tools in my engaging in the RJ process.

 

I openly admit to feeling intimidated and very nervous about leading my first Circle. Without the support of Deenaree, I am confident to say I would still be reluctant. Her kind, supportive nature in guidance has allowed me to gain confidence in myself and my abilities to successfully engage students in to RJ circles.

 

Circles could be an in valuable tool in today's classrooms. However, a project such as this makes its success possible.

 

My observations:

• Students were naturally curious;

 

• Initially students we're passing on questions;

 

• Slowly they warmed up.

 

• The most successful experience with circles was in the gym. Student had lots of space and Energizers were easy to do and students had fun. So did I :-)

 

• I chose the topics surrounding school and what stresses you out for the first round. The obvious answers: tests, deadlines, teachers, etc. 

 

• The next round, what do you do to handle it?  Most said: study, extra help from teachers, Study group…  What surprised me most was a child who is very quiet felt comfortable enough to say “his psychologist who he sees on a regular basis” help him handle stress. I thought that comment was brave on his part in the confidence level he felt from the group!!

 

 

Brandon (Safe and Caring Schools Itinerant)

 

Story #1

A large urban junior high school contacted me regarding a class of grade eights that was experiencing a high degree of conflict. They wanted me and a colleague to do a one-hour presentation on how to have healthy relationships. The more I heard about the conflict in the group, The more I realized the presentation wasn't going to work and that a circle was the best way to build relationships within the group.

 

My colleague and I went to the class to do the circle but as we were about to start a teacher took us aside and warned us that a few of the students had extreme behaviour problems and wouldn't last 10 minutes. She said that when they got out of control she would remove them from the circle and take them to the office. We started the circle and when we finished an hour later, everyone was still there and the students and staff were asking when we could do our next circle. We have now completed six Circle sessions with this class and the level of respect and sharing has been excellent. Not one person was asked to leave the circle.

 

Story #2

I was recently asked by an urban high school to do a workshop with students about healthy relationships. I knew the best way to do this was to meet the students in the circle. The group was very diverse with a mix of students from all grades and socioeconomic backgrounds. There was one student there with ASD who did not want to participate in the circle and opted to sit outside the circle and listen. I told him this was perfectly OK and he was welcome to join us at any time. We proceeded with the circle and the conversations were excellent, the students were really opening up and sharing their thoughts. The student with ASD began moving his chair closer and closer to the circle. About halfway through the session he asked if he could join the circle. Two of the students immediately said, “Yes” and made space for him between them. We then continued the session and the student with ASD fully participated and shared many thoughts and feelings. Afterwards, the cooperating teacher told me this was a really remarkable thing for the student to be so open with a group of strangers. There was no doubt that the structure and process of the circle created a safe space where the students with ASD could feel good about participating.

 

Carolyn (Safe and Caring Schools Itinerant)

 

When I was asked to visit a school because of ongoing conflict and drama among a group of high school students girls, I knew a Restorative approach was what I wanted to facilitate. The conflict had been ongoing for months at this point. It was a small rural school so it was permeating the entire school community. Junior high and even some elementary students were engaging in "taking sides", teachers were concerned, it was affecting normal classroom routines, parents were complaining, and because it spilled over to social media, community members were weighing in. The principal wanted me to "fix "it!!

 

I began with a school visit and initially facilitated a generic circle about respect, and while it did help build some rapport, it did not make any significant changes to the underlying issues, and people still weren't getting along. I agreed to return, but this time to facilitate the circle to repair the harm. I spent two days at the school interviewing all the students involved in the conflict using the Relationships First questions. Several things came out of this and are significant to me as the facilitator: 

1. Everyone was very clear the situation had gotten out of hand and was changing the school climate. They also shared their own sadness over friendships lost in a desire for it to stop.

 

1. One student presented as very nonchalant, condescending, and arrogant. While she completely agreed with all of the above she felt no need, within herself, to repair harm to because she was graduating and "these people "we're not worth the time and effort.” She did want the situation to get better for her sister's sake, who is currently in grade 10.

 

On the day of the scheduled circle to bring all together, I did meet with the student of concern again. I did not want a power imbalance within the group. I asked her if she had reflected on her participation within the circle and if she felt she could do it from the lens of honouring, not measuring her peers. I reminded her it was completely her choice to go to circle and she felt she wanted to.

 

Prior to beginning, I asked all participants to imagine someone they loved and respected unconditionally, (alive or passed on) standing over there shoulder watching their conduct and what would they want them to see. (Dorothy's suggestion :-)

 

The circle proceeded with the rounds of questions and even more information came forward in the circle. All participants follow the guidelines and were so honest and vulnerable in both their roles in the conflict and the hurt they were experiencing. There were lots of tears, some laughter and walls came down. It was honestly very powerful to be a part of.

 

The girls made   suggestions of what they needed to do to move forward and apologies were offered, even by the student who I was concerned about.

 

Follow up:

*I visited later and we had a small circle to check-in on progress and had an ice cream sundae party.

*a trip occurred during Easter break and the girls who were in conflict shared hotel rooms.

*Overall the atmosphere in the school has changed significantly according to the administrator.

 

 

Bukola (International MUN Masters Student researching RJE)

 

Restorative justice is a story or message of hope for me as an international student. I came into a school for a study with little knowledge about the education system on the ground. I have a lot of questions and many things going through my mind without an answer or full attention from various contacts I made until I met Dorothy. She was available to listen to me when I needed someone to hear me.

 

I have no better definition for restorative justice then my meeting with Dorothy. She came onto the scene of my uncertainty of the way forward as to the kind of research project I would be doing. She welcomed me warmly into her office as a worthy individual despite our differences of status, age, race, and so on. Her relational approach made sense and kept me going in my Masters of education program.

 

I have had opportunity to read books, attend PD's and observe a class on restorative justice practice. I see lots of hope for the shift from individualistic lifestyles to a communal one believing that humans are worthy and interconnected. I am confident that with this philosophy in mind I will be better at honouring people. I am comfortable and love Restorative Justice.

 

As a student, I have not been able to practice much of what I have learned and observed but I am looking forward with high hope that I will live out restorative justice practice if I have opportunity with Relationships First in mind.